Who Cares What People Think?

To all of those who think they’re wrong

If they do not fit, conform, belong

YOU ARE ENOUGH

To all of those who still believe

To prove their worth, they must achieve

YOU ARE ENOUGH

To all of those who aim to please

At the expense of their own needs

And all of those who lose their way

In attempt to make somebody stay

YOU ARE ENOUGH

To all of those who have been told

They can’t find love if they’re too old

To all of those who seek perfection

And obsess over their own reflection

I promise you, YOU ARE ENOUGH

Pimples, wrinkles, cellulite

Scars and scores and judges might

Lead you to believe in lies

Forever measuring your size

Up against somebody else

Never seeing your own wealth

Taking everything you hear

As evidence of what you fear

Reinforcing your belief

Forever trapping you in grief ...

It’s time to break this cycle now

To stop the endless loop

It’s time for you to recognize

The simple, honest truth

You ARE enough, just as you are

You do not need to prove it

You do not need to beg for love

Even if you lose it

You are not a waste of space

You deserve to take up room

There’s a reason that you’re here

And it’s asking you to bloom

The only way to discover YOU

Is to ignore what the others

Say and do

Let go of their judgments,

Opinions and fads

Whether they’re enemies,

Friends, moms, or dads

Celebrities, trendsetters,

Experts, and idols

Are no better than you

Regardless of titles

You will never know YOU

If you continue to look

To anyone other than you 

In this book

For this is your story

It’s all that you are

YOU are its writer, its reader,

And star

So take out your pen

It is time to create!

Who and how would you be

If you wrote your own fate?

Courage, my dear

Can stand up to Fear

And help you discover your voice

There’s a lion inside

Who will serve as your guide

Once you assert it’s your choice

So what if they laugh?

Or they think you are daft?

So what if they poke fun at you?

What matters the most

Is whether you’ll host

Opinions that simply aren’t true

You are strong, you are brave

You are clever and sage

You are always expanding your knowing

You are loyal and kind

Yet you seem to be blind

To the ways you are endlessly growing

It is time that you see

That the best way to be

Is authentically YOU, without edits

Only then will you thrive

And feel truly alive

For you’ll no longer seek praise or credit

When you feel inclined to change yourself

Because of something said

A comment made about your ears

Or the size of your forehead

Ask yourself if you can be

Anything you’re not

Will surgery or hairstyles

Really change the YOU you’ve got?

Trying to become something

That isn’t what you are

Is nearly as preposterous

As trying to drink a car!

Would you tell a robin

That it should be a horse?

Even if you thought it should

It would not change, of course

Everything is what it is

However it may be

Fighting with reality

Leads to insanity

Surface changes can be made

But they will not penetrate

The depths of inner spaces

You’ve decided that you hate

Only self-compassion

And acceptance of your flaws

Can rearrange perspectives

Turning “boos” into applause

Not everyone will like you

I promise that’s OK

Do not mistake someone’s distaste

For truth in any way

Some people love mushrooms

While others find them gross

Some like soft and fluffy bread

While others prefer toast

You are not a food, I know

But the principle remains

Perspectives don’t define things

Despite their lofty claims

Think about it when you doubt it

Which points of view are true?

Who decides what something is

Do I or they or you?

What if there’s no right or wrong?

What if there just IS?

What if where something belongs

Is really not our biz?

What if mushrooms, breads, and folks

Could just be as they are?

What if others’ judgments

Didn’t leave a bruise or scar?

You can’t control opinions

And no matter what you do

You will have some loyal fans

While others disapprove

The only thing you can control

Is how you will react

The next time you hear a remark

That feels like an attack

Will you choose to internalize

Diminishing your size

Or will you finally recognize

The beauty that’s inside?

This rhyme will maybe make you 

Want to hurl profanities

Possibly into the air

But probably at me

What I’m about to tell you

Is a message you’ve all heard

It sounds so Pollyannaish

And realistically absurd

But maybe it will help to know

I’m also not quite there

Part of why I write this stuff

Is to teach myself to care

To care as much about myself

As I do about the rest

To extend the kindness inward

Even if I’m not the best

So here it is, the hokey bit

That might well make you sick

Eyerolls aside, I hope you’ll find

Some wisdom that may stick …

Accept your imperfections

For they’re simply tiles and glue

That help form the mosaic

Of this being that is “You”

None of them are wrong or bad

Until you assign them labels

It’s only your own judgment

That can fuel these faulty fables

So embrace the frizz and blemishes

The dimples and the bumps

Crooked noses, messed up toes-es

Whatever makes you grumps

Humans are imperfect beings

It's part of their condition

Yet nearly every single one

Would like a new rendition

     A different way to play their role

     A different tune to sing

     Another way to gain control

     Of every little thing

This is a disheartening 

And futile way to live

Would it not be better 

To let go and to forgive?

Let go of criticism

And of what you cannot change

Forgive yourself for being harsh

And thinking that you’re strange

There is nothing wrong with you

Unless you declare it so

And even then, my dearest friend

It isn’t true, you know

You do not decide my worth

Your opinions hold no weight

Unless I make them heavy

By believing what you state

You do not define me

Unless I grant you the power

To mold me into what you want

While I bow down and cower

You have no authority

To make me think or say

Anything disparaging 

About myself today

Not today or any day

For I have made the choice

To tune out all the toxic talk

And follow my own voice

Is something really good or bad

Because someone says it’s so?

Let’s look at all the fashion trends

That always come and go

Trends are hot

Until they’re not

But then they’re back again

Revamped and stamped “Desirable”

A nod to way back when

Small adjustments make it “new”

But really it’s the old

Persevering, reappearing

In forms that can be sold 

We’ll say it’s great

Then out of date

And mock the ones who keep it

But give it twenty years or so

And everyone will seek it

Am I the only one out here

Who thinks this is inane?

Can’t we just wear what we like

Without bringing on disdain?

Today it’s good

Tomorrow bad

So does it even matter?

It’s just a fad that cycles

Is it really worth the chatter?

The way you part your hair

Or the kind of jeans you wear

Shouldn’t bring on ridicule

Or cause people to stare

What would it take

For goodness sake

For people to be kinder

To add an “e” to human

Without needing a reminder?

If you let your mood

Be determined by another

A boss, a crush, a parent

Stranger, sister or a brother

It doesn’t matter who it is

If it’s anyone but you

The results will always be the same

No matter what you do

You’ll feel powerless against

The things that come your way

Always at the mercy of 

What others do and say

“Why are they doing this to me?”

“They’re making me so mad!”

These are the kinds of things you’ll say

When you think someone’s 

Actions are “bad”

“He made me so sad when he did that”

Or “she made me feel guilty when …”

You’ll find yourself playing 

These blame games

Over and over again

I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid

So please, don’t get me wrong

I’m only suggesting the power

Isn’t resting where it belongs

When you think someone else 

Is the reason

That you feel or behave as you do

Then you’re giving that person the power

To dictate your state and your mood

This is a dangerous habit, you see

For their actions are not yours to choose

And if you’re not the one who’s deciding

Then your big emotions 

Are tough to defuse

If other people need to change

In order for you to feel good

Then you’ve set an impossible standard

And autonomy is misunderstood

Hard as you try

And try as you may

No matter which way you say it

You cannot MAKE someone change

No matter how you convey it

All you can do

Is take charge of YOU

Regardless of how others act

You have the power to change YOURSELF

By changing the way you react*

Easier said than done, to be sure

And more difficult still to detach

From reactions that surge in the moment

And the fears they undoubtedly hatch

But courage and patience 

Will get you there

If you resist the temptation to flee

Take deep breaths 

While you sit with your feelings

And eventually, you will be free

*By “react,” I am referring to the action you choose to take in response to a situation or event--not the initial emotional reaction you experience. There’s a pretty distinct difference between responding and reacting. Unfortunately, “respond” didn’t rhyme with “act,” so there you have it.

It’s OK if you don’t approve

But I’m still not going to move

In whatever direction

You think that I should choose

I am my own person*

And not a living soul has seen

The world through my own windows

Or the thoughts upon my screen

No one else has worn these hands

Or stood on these two feet

No one else has felt my pain

Or personal defeat

No one fully understands

What inspires, fuels, and drives me

Nor do they appreciate

What stifles and deprives me

No one else could know me

Better than I know myself

So please don’t try to tell me

How to live and define wealth

*In case it isn’t obvious, this goes for all of you, too.

Chasing youth is futile

For you could never run so fast

To catch up to your younger self

And times that have long passed

Every living thing

Grows and changes over time

Life unfolds in cycles

And you cannot hit rewind*

Let us look, for instance

At a rose that’s in full bloom

Its petals soft and vibrant

Wearing notes of sweet perfume

The rose is pleasing to the senses

While it’s in this phase

But it will only last for a few weeks

Or sometimes days

One by one, each petal

Will start to wither, fade, and drop

There is nothing you can do

To make this process stop

Our youth is but a fleeting state

And much like the blooming rose

This phase will flow into the next

No matter how much we oppose

But does that mean that we should brood 

About it ‘till we die?

Or is there a different outlook

That we may apply?

Right now in this moment

You’re the youngest that you’ll be

And this is always true

Even if you’re 93

And it will still be true

In the moment that comes next

And every one that follows

After you have read this text

So instead of wasting moments

Pining for your crumbled youth

Why not try to be here NOW

And think upon this truth

*... unless you’re an Immortal jellyfish. If you haven’t heard about what the Turritopsis dohrnii can do, look it up! It’s truly fascinating.